THE TRAPS OF AFFECTION ( II )

If the bond of a persistent couple does not facilitate bring out the best, is necessary to rethink the meaning of the relationship and where it leads. What motivates to want the presence of someone daily ? The desired or supposed experience with someone´s company, in what proportion is it fulfilled ? Give up time, space, resources, for what purpose we do it ? What do we want couples for and to do what ? Having children is a social act because they affect society in multiple aspects. Who thinks about this apart for the responsibility of potential parents in collective incidence ?                                                                                                   We wish and we want to believe that through someone we like due to some characteristics, we will experience feelings of well being, but these only are portions of a whole. We must be able to observe the pros and cons widely for an approach or distance, and the scale will decide whether or not if the relationship is viable. Sharing everyday life limits and conditions only for a few hours, taking into account the time devoted to work and sleep. If the person in question is not really enchanting for various virtues, Is it worth mortgaging yourself for someone´s company if there is no common task of sustained growth ? The theoretical learning and teaching that the exchange has to offer can it be produced taking into account the prevailing worldliness and superficiality ?                                                                                                 The trap of affects is give priority on the emotional side which make vulnerable in feelings, and these need the guidance of the intellect to discern between the ideal and the disadvantage.                                          To feel good, being with someone is not synonymous of better. Boredom is caused by repetitiveness, the predictability and stagnation. We sacrifice the silence, peace, and quietness which are priceless goods that can not be brought to us from outside, for an hourly company without a defined goal nor individual or common progress.                                                                                                                                             Partner, children, they bring out the best in us or are part of our interests with any background that has little altruism ? Expressing and receiving affection is the best feeling to experience, but we must know how. And if it costs so much to have rewarding relationships is due to unfocused approaches of the ego and its pretensions. Partner and children are the biggest challenge due to proximity and involvement. Be prepared and able for the differences to converge for the common good is the most difficult task, hence the constant problem of finding the appropiate terms and expressions.

THE TRAPS OF AFFECTION ( I )

We are the 100% of time with us, and the presence or company of others is only in a while. This indicates that relationships are occasional, for this reason we must know why we want it or need it.                           What can a certain person contribute that has more value than we can execute on our own ? Where we don´t reach we require the contribution of others to achieve a purpose. Interactions are essential to cover deficiencies, and this tend to be short, is an approach and distance according to fund interests. Family are fundamental in the early years, however, as we acquire independence of movements, we can decide and act with responsibility ¿ why we want to limit, condition and restrict that we can do with no strings attached only for the usual presence of someone ? Who wonders deeply about why we want to have a partner or children ? If not even in personal affairs and social behavior we don´t act with the due correction, how can we fit two distinct entities with the respective areas to improve in a link to the search for harmony ?          Imagination, illusion, it fades when it realizes an unreached level essential to be satisfied in the mutual transmission.                                                                                                                                                    Conversations, resources and activities is what we share. Is the bar of these high, medium or low ? If is not high, is it worth taking out a mortgage for a sporadic company ? If there is not a perspective view, an extensive knowledge of the other, what can we expect of the most demanding bond of all ? More inertia. We only can convey our uniqueness with virtues and defects, and if prevail the mediocrity, the dificulty it will be noticeable in the exchanges filled with disonances.                                                                            We depend on third parties for specific consideration, but they do not condition the organization, space and daily decisions. The usual presence of someone only will be what is be able offer, in the aspects that can like or disturb, we can not expect to receive what is not gifted to give. This must be clear.                     The goal of a couple is be elevated by what we learn and teach each other, but if there is not the essential maturity nor will decrypt the messages nor will be able to use them to polish ourselves and the relation fulfill its purpose.                                                                                                                                              Love alone is not enough, the consistency of the link is a set of factors aimed at a progressive refinement in the expressions. The trap of affects is getting carried away by emotions without tuning in to all the fronts that enter in the scene.