THE TRAPS OF AFFECTION ( II )

If the bond of a persistent couple does not facilitate bring out the best, is necessary to rethink the meaning of the relationship and where it leads. What motivates to want the presence of someone daily ? The desired or supposed experience with someone´s company, in what proportion is it fulfilled ? Give up time, space, resources, for what purpose we do it ? What do we want couples for and to do what ? Having children is a social act because they affect society in multiple aspects. Who thinks about this apart for the responsibility of potential parents in collective incidence ?                                                                                                   We wish and we want to believe that through someone we like due to some characteristics, we will experience feelings of well being, but these only are portions of a whole. We must be able to observe the pros and cons widely for an approach or distance, and the scale will decide whether or not if the relationship is viable. Sharing everyday life limits and conditions only for a few hours, taking into account the time devoted to work and sleep. If the person in question is not really enchanting for various virtues, Is it worth mortgaging yourself for someone´s company if there is no common task of sustained growth ? The theoretical learning and teaching that the exchange has to offer can it be produced taking into account the prevailing worldliness and superficiality ?                                                                                                 The trap of affects is give priority on the emotional side which make vulnerable in feelings, and these need the guidance of the intellect to discern between the ideal and the disadvantage.                                          To feel good, being with someone is not synonymous of better. Boredom is caused by repetitiveness, the predictability and stagnation. We sacrifice the silence, peace, and quietness which are priceless goods that can not be brought to us from outside, for an hourly company without a defined goal nor individual or common progress.                                                                                                                                             Partner, children, they bring out the best in us or are part of our interests with any background that has little altruism ? Expressing and receiving affection is the best feeling to experience, but we must know how. And if it costs so much to have rewarding relationships is due to unfocused approaches of the ego and its pretensions. Partner and children are the biggest challenge due to proximity and involvement. Be prepared and able for the differences to converge for the common good is the most difficult task, hence the constant problem of finding the appropiate terms and expressions.

THE TRAPS OF AFFECTION ( I )

We are the 100% of time with us, and the presence or company of others is only in a while. This indicates that relationships are occasional, for this reason we must know why we want it or need it.                           What can a certain person contribute that has more value than we can execute on our own ? Where we don´t reach we require the contribution of others to achieve a purpose. Interactions are essential to cover deficiencies, and this tend to be short, is an approach and distance according to fund interests. Family are fundamental in the early years, however, as we acquire independence of movements, we can decide and act with responsibility ¿ why we want to limit, condition and restrict that we can do with no strings attached only for the usual presence of someone ? Who wonders deeply about why we want to have a partner or children ? If not even in personal affairs and social behavior we don´t act with the due correction, how can we fit two distinct entities with the respective areas to improve in a link to the search for harmony ?          Imagination, illusion, it fades when it realizes an unreached level essential to be satisfied in the mutual transmission.                                                                                                                                                    Conversations, resources and activities is what we share. Is the bar of these high, medium or low ? If is not high, is it worth taking out a mortgage for a sporadic company ? If there is not a perspective view, an extensive knowledge of the other, what can we expect of the most demanding bond of all ? More inertia. We only can convey our uniqueness with virtues and defects, and if prevail the mediocrity, the dificulty it will be noticeable in the exchanges filled with disonances.                                                                            We depend on third parties for specific consideration, but they do not condition the organization, space and daily decisions. The usual presence of someone only will be what is be able offer, in the aspects that can like or disturb, we can not expect to receive what is not gifted to give. This must be clear.                     The goal of a couple is be elevated by what we learn and teach each other, but if there is not the essential maturity nor will decrypt the messages nor will be able to use them to polish ourselves and the relation fulfill its purpose.                                                                                                                                              Love alone is not enough, the consistency of the link is a set of factors aimed at a progressive refinement in the expressions. The trap of affects is getting carried away by emotions without tuning in to all the fronts that enter in the scene.

TO SACRIFICE IS TO REPLACE THE EXPENDABLE WITH THE USEFUL

Sacrifice derives from SACROFACERE that means maked it sacred. Sacred in the high sense, pure, important. In the opposite side there is the profane, which are the usual everyday actions lacking in significance.                                                                                                                                                     Do we perform more sacred or profane acts ? Observing the code of values and behavior we find the answer without difficulty. We would like spectacular experiences and conditions, and if they go in the opposite direction that´s why we proceed in the opposite way to achieve it. If prevails the ignorance and the unconsciousness to replace the prosaic with the refined, it is clear that we will be in the material density limited.                                                                                                                                                 Sacrifice  unlike the majority understood, it does not consist of wanting something but holding back, or do someone a favor forced by circumstances. As expressed  by the etymology of the word is change a context that does not bring benefits internally or externally by the other means, tools and occupations that allow increase the possibilities of development and improvement.                                                                          How many activities we carry out of habit thoughtlessly, without stopping to reflect on its convenience and usefulness ? And so one day and another to go nowhere nor extract any profit from it, with the fantasy that is pleasant, when the background is empty of content.                                                                            Focused basically on what we have and what we lack, in the own selfish desires, we pursue worldy goods  that come and go, that depend on third parties, while the splendor that we all long for never arrives because is not in the surrounding area. We have confused the means with the goal, and this is only an intermediary. Bound by olbligations due to the need to cover deficits, we don´t have time nor has the indispensable foundation been forged to perform sacred actions.We have to be content with subsisting as best we can. And crowded trying to extend a transitory presence, let´s leave aside the implicit purpose that has placed us here for something deeper than maintaining physical conditions.

THE WAR ROOM, OUR CONSTANT BATTLE

Decipher why and what, know how to proceed to fit the personal and impersonal, the private and collective interests, continously measures the appropiate and the inconvenient. We must face the challenge of combining duality and unity. No one can live for us and neither other way round. The nourishment is outside, and the obtaining of resources lies in one´s own abilities offering services and the contribution of third parties in exchanges.                                                                                                                                The war room is where the struggle takes place between what we would like and what is, between the possible and the viable. Our part and the necessary external  support  to complete projects.                        Consciousness awakens the survival instinct, knowing that we have to look for the opportunity, and this is a question as personal as provided by the environment. From individual isolation to collective coupling. Deficiencies create dependence which is the key to overcoming efforts in the constant exchanges of giving and receiving.                                                                                                                                      The egocentric vision inclines us to watch for our interests, and these are in close relation to the actions committed. If the balance in the interaction are unbalanced, the gains may occur early on, but in the long run the deterioration will lead to losses.                                                                                                            We with our pretensions brings chaos to our lives, not the environment. If we don´t look inside, what has driven us to want and do what we do, we can not eraase the source from which it emerged. The origin of disonances and conflicts it is not harmonizing personal desires with those of others and the place where the action takes place.                                                                                                                                       If there is no peace inside, there is war outside.  What is observed outside springs from within. And we must ask how the discrepancy between what we think and want and what happen.                                        If selfishness weighs more than altruism the controversies will persist. We must give more, to share more, for the benefit of all involved.                                                                                                                          The negativity is the result of our elections. One´s with great advantages and others with great difficulties. Selfish approaches give absolute priority to the material goods and no importance to the spiritual goods, when in reality the valuable goods are the spiritual goods. And if they come to realize this, it may be too late, because in the end the transitory can not be maintained.

LIES ARE FOR INTEREST AND FEAR ( also interest )

 Truth is to expose the facts with  words or other means. Lying is misrepresenting the event or creating alternative stories about what really happened.                                                                                               What drives to you to lie ? Not to be harmed according to precedents or to obtain benefits through deception. Whatever the lie is driven by interest.. The background context may not be favorable enough and to reverse it, lying become a joker, passing off the unreal as truthful.                                                      When punishable acts have been committed, the fear of being discovered and the possible and subsequent consequences in the form of fines and punishment, is also the interest of not losing money or freedom, and in some cases physical suffering.                                                                                                                    Lie is essentially in relation to us, and sometimes we do it for someone close in order not to have to pay the price of inaccuracies.                                                                                                                                       Truth assumes responsibility case of having made mistakes. Lie is wanting to escape about the event beforehand. We can lie because of negligence, for personal reasons, for work or commercial matters, and also in relations. Momentarily perhaps the blow can be stopped, but if the inventions are discovered, the possibles advantages end.                                                                                                                                The foundation of links with the intention of projection and durability require sincerity. And when the mistrut appears the continuity is in danger. The true brings peace of mind, perhaps we can pay something according to the previous actions, but the opportunity to improve it must be taken advantage of. When you lie, the issue has not been settled,and the uncertainty does not know how it will affect later on.                  True or lie expose the personal idiosyncrasy. The responsible and the irresponsible. The honest ones and the fakes ones. Those who shows maturity by taking charge of actions, and those who want to evade them. The true it is associated with cleanliness, to the trasparency. The lie is dirt so that what is really there is not seen. Authenticity or falsity, an ever present dilemma that affects us all.

EQUAL AND DIFFERENT, RECIPROCAL NEED

 Equal and different are present around us. In every creation it starts from a point incorporating new elements, the different aimed at a goal.                                                                                                           If there was only one aspect without other contributions, there´s no movement nor purpose, life as we know would have no meaning. To give meaning to our respective individual existences, we must intreract with others. Lacks make us dependent, forcing us to establish links, and in the constant offer and demand we can access to the pretender. The different it provides us to fill gaps and build new foundations.              Equals in the essential, differents in the rest. Conceived equal but different in the expression, because no one thinks, feels or does exactly the same way. The evloutionary level  it places in an area and conditions for specific tasks, and for this reason equality is not possible for the differences between each one.             Equal and different can adjust working together, providing what the other lacks.                                         If the differences are big, understanding can be difficult, and unviable for the discordances. Here is where it is found that similar attracts similar and the different separate.                                                                   The desire of some humans reflected in politics or religion, wants citizenship to be an extension of unique thinking. Totalitarian forms they cannot be forced when everyone forges their own ideas and have their peculiarities. Pretending that everyone be the same when everyone is different, it is one of the distortions of the ego that has caused so many conflicts and  it continues to cause chaos and destruction as a result.

LIMITED VISION, LIMITED ACTIONS

If we don´t change our consciousness or the way we live, our lives can not change for the better.                Go beyond the limits trespassing the comfort is the challenge, but only with a constant tests will have options to achieve conditions not imagined if we are satisfied with the present situation without a clear horizon and no definite purpose. The field of action  for a concretion requires a limit so if it wasn´t there would be a dispersion and you wouldn´t be able to express the density in works that must have value to the effort. From a base of minimums the combinations can be infinite, and for one reason or another we only express a tiny part.                                                                                                                                    The enthusiam for desire an style of life endowed with content it has come from within. Centered only in the basic we leave aside the existential purpose. Only few people stop to reflect, asking why about the circumstances and its reason. Let´s focus on banalities, and the surround, thinking generally in to produce,, consume and benefits, and so the time goes by without knowing who we are and our characteristics with the relations and opportunites that entails.                                                                      What proportion of what is done turns into a true profit ? We  set the bar very low, and the valued as enjoyment is only product of our prevailing consciousness.                                                                            We have come to make a qualitative differences, with more refined expressions. What vibrations emit the ideas, thoughts and words in the enviornment ? The actions are they edifying or do they deteriorate and losses ? The external comes and goes, now is there and then not, may be money, bonds or utensils. We can not control, from one situation to another always with a base. What is material we don´t know how long can it last. However, if we internalize in search of answers understanding through observations and perceptions, we will see what density does not see.                                                                                        How many people wants to endow experiences of trascendence ? The minority that already carries it incorporated in the deepest the longing for overcoming. Not only achieve physical resources, but those that bring us closer to a continuous neatness.                                                                                                   The limits in one or more area deprived of expanding and accessing to more opportunities and prosperous conditions. Every day shows in what must be settle and where we must never limit. Only the constant development of consciousness with a great discernment and equanimity they will tell us.

SAME LESSON, SAME COURSE

Do  we want to remain stagnant indefinetely repeating the same lesson from the same course over and over again ? Do we strive to introduce more optimal guidelines where is necessary ? We splice one activity with another, pushed by inertia and the purpose is to continue our presence, the question is why.    From the dependent family unit we must move to the maximum autonomy possible. From ignorance to knowledge. Physical growth stop when it reaches its development., Instead, learning can be permanent if we want.                                                                                                                                                            We are all immersed in the periphery, the plot takes place outside, and we have to face it for what has accumulated internally. The days follow each other in a similar form but never identical way, and our challenge consists of generating variants to enrich the experiences in order to increase greater expressive possibilities.                                                                                                                                                     Are we happy with what we do ? Is our behavior appropriate at all times ? How should we improve the relations ? Do we something about it to replace the obstructions to restore more fluidity ?                            The years pass but the same ideas persist, the same attitude. What is the benefit of adding days ? Are defects transformed into virtues ? Do we become more consciousness over time ? We increase the vision in perspective to be more understanding, dialoguers, sensible, equitable ?                                                    We don´t raise the level because we don´t raise ourselves. repetitive conversations, unchanging arguments, and this makes encounters boring instead of attractive. More of the same, without a horizon, without enthusiasm, with occupations and bland lives. There is no plan to cross limits and is not possible become what we should aim for which would be to put ourselves at the service of fulfilling the spiritual precepts. Existential meaning and profit can only be found in this way.

THE PURPOSE AND THE RESULT

What pushes us to move has a goal, and this can be inminent or in the longer term. The end is the driver with the intention of achieving a result. Every day at the beginning we  have to fill the void with various activities, and in each one the focus is to get a concreteness that serves for a continuity, a maintenance or an increase. The end sometimes fits the result and others not. In what depends on our aptitudes and  resources, without the contribution of third people, the purpose and the result can go hand in hand. When external factors beyond our control intervene, the result can be close or far away according to the imagined or desired.                                                                                                                                         What goals do we pursued ? Which one do we need and which want are dispensable ? Who asks before embarking on commitments that can condition and limit in several areas ? The prevailing superficiality, the worldly approach, points to temporary purposes, that don´t actually expand potential or make us better. Apart from the usual purposes of subsistence in which we are all immersed, individual singularity is who must mark differences finding our place in the environment contributing to the collective.                         The efforts have the objective of achieving a profit, otherwise we wouldn´t them. And if evereyone is agree in the successive processes from childhood dependence and ignorance until the maximum possible autonomy in adulthood, the purpose to reach resources for our continuity is not the purpose in itself, this is the means to discover the why of all experiences and the true purpose beyond the dense and visible.         Studying is a bridge between a previous lack situation to another supplier of resources to operate in the environment. Work is the means of exchange to have what is necessary to cover the gaps in the dependencies. Relationships are the great challenge to develop in order to learn how we must to act to establish harmony, where the plot takes place outside by what emerges from the inner, to the return to the interior with the experienced and its echo to continue refining our expressions through the increase of consciousness which must be indicating successive purposes according to the progress as being becomes apparent.        

ANTIDOTS FOR CRITICISMS AND DISQUALIFICATION

Attend constantly to the disqualifying comments for being opposed to their criteria, desires or way to proceed, apart from not modifying what they would like, the only thing it involves is polluting the environment with what is categorized as bad language. Attack, criticize the system, because the prevailing context displeases them, without alternative proposals aimed at improving the existed one, it is also a sign  of futility by not providing constructivism to insist on negative expressions.                                                 To all these warriors of words, do they believe that the strategy will revert to a verifiable gain ? According to the seeds will be the fruits, and if they are bitter so will the ripening be. Wanting to change what can´t be done at the moment ¿ will the brillant idea or pouring bile pave the way to what you want ?                   In front a sterile attitude because it is unproductive, the anditot are constructive answers and effcient management. In front of silly words deaf ears. To counter stupidity, clear discernment and perspective view.                                                                                                                                                                 These perfect beings can explain to us the manual of good manners, that it seems they fail at the beginning, checking that the only thing they dominate are the exabruptes ? By the fact of insisting on contmept, in the effort to discredit, do they believethat it will bring them closer to the goal they would like to achieve ? Complain, use unpleasant tone and language, what it does is bore, tire the listener repeatedly over and over again nonsense words, which bring directly from an unaccepted frustration that they do not overcome because of their own ineptitude that betrays them as what they really are, incompetents. In their blindness they do not realize that the content of the speeches with assiduous expressions such as humiliation, indignation, non compliant with the law, divisive, that´s exactly what they come doing themselves as a hallmark of the house. A monumental projectation like a mirror unable to see how busy they are in searching for the most muddled terms possible.                                                                            What can we do with this group of exalted ? They are always right and the opponents curiously are always wrong. We can not have a dialogue with someone who is ready for viscerality when things don´t go as they want. Responsible in words and their incidence, and the actions and what it entails. Now, wanting to unload the accumulated impurities inside, they will hardly be held responsible of all the emptiness manifests that reveals an unsustanaible arguments. They don´t have to give an account because they are flawless, and the responsibility they leave it for those who keep making mistakes according to their judgments. All these prophets of a recent past and the current one, they disappear from the scene, and then no one remember them. The bad manners have not led them to success, rather to poverty, because the lack of intelligence inevitably leads to failure.